The Man Whisperers’ Top 5 Tips: How To Get ANY Man To Ask YOU Out!

Filed under : Blog

Donna & Sam (known as The Man Whisperers) give their Top 5 Tips on… How to Get Any Guy to Ask YOU Out!

Sure men are big and strong and they play tough.   But when it comes to asking women out, it takes a special kind of courage – especially when they are really attracted to you.  Men don’t want to have their hearts to be broken just a much as women don’t.  Nor do men want to feel embarrassed or shot down in front of their friends if they ask you out and you say, “Umm… no thanks…”.

So … if you want a guy to ask you out, it’s a woman’s job to give him clues that you’ll say “Yes!” if he does.

1. Don’t control the conversation

When women get nervous our first instinct is to control the situation.  Or in this case, the conversation.  This gives us a false sense of security that things are going well and moving forward at a comfortable pace.  But it doesn’t let him take the lead.  Nor does it give him a window to ask you out.  Relax. Let go of the conversation reins and let him take the lead of the conversation.  When a man feels like he’s earned your interest, he’ll ask you out. The funny thing we’ve discovered is that when you ask loads of questions, and men get to talk about themselves at length, they somehow think that you are the most amazing, funniest girl in the world and will go to great length to ask you out!

2. Smile and lightly touch him on the arm or back

Non-verbal communication is extremely important.  It’s 70% of what we “say” to one another and what do you with your body is often more powerful than ACTUAL words.  If he says something funny, lightly touch him on the arm or the back with a smile.  This light touch is a strong connection and it can be electric! Your smile gives him the clue that you are indeed interested in him and if he asks you out you will indeed say, “Yes!”. Men have also told us that he loves a woman with a good sense of humour, as well as one who is easy going and fun to be around. You’ll prove that you’ve got both these qualities just by simply smiling a lot and laughing (subtly) at his jokes. No moodiness please!!

3. Silence is golden… and men love it

In every conversation there is a natural drop.  Don’t be afraid of a moment of silence.  It doesn’t mean his interest has dropped.  On the contrary.  In this moment of quiet, a man can be relishing in the fact that he’s a lucky man to be talking to you.   If you absolutely  feel like you need to do something – simply take a breath and smile.  Don’t worry.  The conversation will pick up again.  And certainly, don’t cut the conversation short just because you are uncomfortable with a brief silence. Instead, pose an interesting question to him, such as, where do you see yourself in your career in five years? Or … how did you get started in your line of work? Or… what’s your favorite holiday destination of all time?

4.  Do what you love

When you are out and about doing what you love (painting classes, jogging, walking the dog, boxing, tennis, reading at the bookstore …) it’s easy to meet men who are interested in the same activity.  This gives men an easy in to ask you out – or at least ask to see you again by suggesting you do the activity together.

5. Patience pays

As modern women, you are certainly capable of asking men out.  But if you want him to ask you out, you must wait for him to do it.  Yes, you can speed up the process with Steps 1-4 but remember, men are the ones who have an innate biological urge to chase.  And sometimes, they have insecurities beyond our comprehension.  If he doesn’t ask you out, try to let it go.  You might see him again and he will the next time.  Also have confidence that another man will find you attractive and take action to see you again.  It’s your inner confidence that helps women not have “desperate eyes” around men.

What are yourtop tips how to get any guy to ask you out?

Email us at

Check back next week for more Man Whisperer Tips!

And for HUNDREDS More Tips on Love, Sex and Relationships check out Donna & Sam’s new book THE MAN WHISPERER!  Available now!

20 Responses to “The Man Whisperers’ Top 5 Tips: How To Get ANY Man To Ask YOU Out!”

  1. Thanks for some quality points there. I am kind of new to online , so I printed this off to put in my file, any better way to go about keeping track of it then printing?

  2. Thank you, I have recently been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the best I have discovered so far.

  3. Ron Tedwater says:

    Really nice post,thank you

  4. You can definitely see your enthusiasm in the work you write. The world hopes for more passionate writers like you who aren?¯t afraid to say how they believe. Always go after your heart.

  5. One of the biggest problems my group has isn’t convincing folks that they have a problem. It’s convincing them to address the biggest one first and then deal with the other stuff. Nobody seems to want to do that. Everyone wants a reason or an excuse. They want to worry about the big bruise on their arm when there leg is cut off and they are bleeding out.

  6. Jack_Bauer says:

    Mostly good stuff, but you leave out a few things.

    1) Hot girls get approached more and hence asked out more. It’s just a fact of life. (And you gals look hot in your pics, btw. I doubt very much you have that problem unless you’re sending out signals that you don’t want to be approached). Wear something that looks and makes you think you are hot. Then you’ll have the confidence that ACTUALLY makes you hot.

    2) One way y’all can reduce the guy’s approach anxiety is to send him stronger signals that you wish to be approached. Smile directly at us, and if you’re really bold, follow up the smile with a flirty wink and then look shyly away. Unless he’s linguine spined, he’ll come over to talk to you. If he doesn’t, then he’s too weak for you anyway.

    3) Eye contact, eye contact, eye contact. Keep it and hold it to increase sexual tension. He’ll love it and get that you dig him. Just resist the urge to go home with him and insist on him calling you if he really wants to see you again (as you say, let us be the hunter). Texting doesn’t count as a call, by the way. Those should be used as addition to, not as a substitute for actual talking (and let him know that if all he does is text you that you’re not okay with that. Define the relationship boundaries from the beginning). Personally, after I meet a hot gal that I’m interested in seeing again, I’ll send a flirty text soon after and then call after a day or two.

    4) Keep the mystery going. We don’t want to hear you’re life’s story in the first 10 minutes we’ve met you. After about 5 minutes, all we really here is “Blah, blah, blah…”. Hit a few of your life’s highlights (nothing depressing) and then steer the conversation back to mutual interests. That sets him up to ask you out: “Hey, since you’re into such and such so much, how about you join me for…”. Easy. Believe me, I appreciate it when y’all tee it up like that.

Leave a reply