We’re thrilled to announce that The Man Whisperer is #1 Dating Book for 2011, according to the San Francisco Chronicle!
The new year is always a good time for resolutions, whether you prefer to simply ponder them or do the hard work of putting them into effect. We’ll skip the weight-loss plans for now (been there, done that) and focus on something even more difficult: improving your relationships – finding a mate, communicating more effectively and having more fun in your personal time together (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
How do you know if it’s love or when you should dump your narcissistic baseball player boyfriend for the softhearted corporate exec? With apologies to Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson and Paul Rudd, Hollywood dramas don’t always have real-life answers. So we’ll consult with several self-described experts who have written books with their best advice. Unlike diet and fitness goals, there’s no need to get off your duff – stay right there on the couch, pour yourself a glass of vino and start exercising those eyeballs with a little reading.
A Gentle, Results-Oriented Approach to Communication
By Donna Sozio and Samantha Brett (Adams Media; 2011; 241 pages; $14.95).
The gist: Two dating experts play off the titles of the big screen’s “The Horse Whisperer” and TV’s “The Dog Whisperer” to humorously present practical information on communicating with your significant other. Their advice: Learn to adopt a softer demeanor by asking directly for things (don’t hint or demand), give compliments to encourage repeated good behavior (criticism and belittling are not effective in producing change), look for love in his actions, not words, and be patient – change takes time.
Best tips: When wishing to discuss something, remember that men focus on one thing at a time. “Bargain for his time, wait until you have his focus, submit one request or give him one task, show or tell the benefits for completing the task, show appreciation in advance.” “Don’t expect him to remember much … the part of the brain that forms memories – the hippocampus – is smaller in the man’s brain than it is in yours, according to research by Simon Baron-Cohen of the University of Cambridge in 2005.”
Memorable line: “Don’t manipulate. Man Whispering is not about manipulation. Instead, you help and inspire men to do what they are designed to do: Come up with solutions, solve problems, provide and give generously to show their love.”
Ouch! “Never say ‘I love you’ first – this puts a demand on him to say it back. It also triggers his fight-or-flight response.”